


Steel Runs Through Her

by SophieRipley



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Major Character Injury, Police, Prequel, Terrorism, Violence, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-07-28 15:10:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7646083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieRipley/pseuds/SophieRipley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Judy Hopps will one day become a battle-hardened police chief with no humor and less patience. This is the story of how she became that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Establishing Exposition

**14 July, 2016**

**(Two weeks after the arrest of Mayor Bellwether)**

* * *

 

_Standing at a great height—from atop Bogo’s podium in the bullpen, in fact—Judy Hopps glared down at a fox who was Nick Wilde, but at the same time was not.  Her heart was clenched in deep-seated sorrow, and her paws shook with anger and despair._

_“Let me make this very clear to you, Bradley Wilde.”  Judy’s voice quivered ever so slightly, hoarse with what could have been age.  “Your grandfather may have been_ The Nicholas Piberius Wilde _, hero of the Battle of Savannah Central, but in_ my _precinct you are exactly nothing.  Less than a nursing kitten.”  Judy leaned out over the edge of the podium, putting her paws on the edge to support her weight and balance her against falling._

_“You need to understand:  The only other person who has ever called me Carrots is dead now.  Don’t make me send you to him.”_

Judy Hopps sat up sharply, her lumpy mattress creaking pitifully beneath her as she gasped for breath, her little heart pounding in her tiny chest.  The feelings and words from her dream—nightmare, call it what it was—rushed through her head, fading from her memory as fast as sand flowing through her fingers.  In a moment the only thing that remained was her terror, her despair, and she fought to control her breathing.  She remembered it involved Nick somehow, but she couldn’t remember how.  Despite the details having gone, Judy was having trouble calming.

So she called Nick.  It took a long seven rings for him to answer, and he sounded very groggy when he did.

“Carrots I didn’t give you my number to wake me up at—jeez, Fluff, it’s _four in the morning what is wrong with you._ You do know I’m going to the academy tomorrow, right?”

Now that she had called him, Judy felt foolish.  Still, she had called him and now he was waiting to find out why, so she took a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry, Nick,” murmured the bunny.  “I…well, I had a nightmare.  About you.  And I just needed to hear your voice.”  There was a long pause, long enough that Judy started to think he’d fallen back asleep.

“…I’m sorry for snapping.  Do you need me to come over?  Or…should we cancel breakfast in the morning?”  He sounded guarded, cautious, but not in a deceptive way.

“No no,” said Judy, “I’m okay.  I just wanted to hear your voice.  I’m sorry for bothering you; I’ll see you in the morning.”  And she was okay:  just hearing his voice calmed her a great deal.  After hanging up, she reflected on that.  She came from a large family, but she made no real friends during her time in Zootopia; she’d been too busy in the short time she had been there, and it was a low priority.  But now she did have a friend, and that friend was a fox.  The thought made her smile. 

It was obvious to everyone, of course, that Nick meant a lot to her.  She spent three months in a depression because she had alienated him, so of course he did.  This was the first time it had really occurred to her though to consider him more than a casual acquaintance.

Tomorrow, Nick would go to the Police Academy.  Training would take him nine months to complete, and Judy looked forward to working with him afterward.

The day came; Judy and Nick had breakfast together, Judy’s treat as congratulations for Nick’s acceptance to the Academy, and Nick went off to do his thing.  During the following nine months, Judy continued to do police work during the day, and spending the evenings on Muzzletime with Nick.  They developed a rapport during this time, solidifying their already-budding friendship in the process.  It was long distance but nonetheless, by the time the graduation came and Judy pinned his shiny new badge on his uniform they were very close indeed.

Their career together would have its high points and its low points, but for now…it was only good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter of the story behind my Vignette of Distant Sorrow. This chapter is very short and glosses over a few things, and future chapters will do a bit of time jumping, but please expect subsequent chapters to be longer and more detailed.
> 
> I know I've posted precious little lately; real life got hectic, and I've been busy. I'm not gone, I promise.
> 
> I've marked the story for graphic violence, major character death, and a number of related tags. These will occur mostly in later chapters; the first few will be a bit more lighthearted. Since this is a direct prequel of A Vignette of Distant Sorrow, you know it's coming.


	2. The Rising Action Begins

**25 October, 2017**

**(One year, one month, 3 weeks after conclusion of the Nighthowler Incident)**

* * *

 

“HEYCARROTSWHADDAYADOING!”  The yell came from behind and was accompanied by large, warm hands grabbing Judy around the middle.  She squealed and only refrained from whirling around to plant an axe kick in the offender’s knee because she recognized the voice and scent.  The scent was a light musky floral one with a bite of dark cologne, and the voice was that of one Nicholas Piberius Wilde, first fox police officer and annoyer-of-Judy extraordinaire. 

“Goddamn it Nick,” said Judy and she crouched to pick up her handbag, which she had thrown in her fright.  “I should kick you, what the hell is your problem?”  She turned to face him, and noticed a number of other mammals in the vicinity looking over with expressions ranging from annoyance to concern. 

“I was just curious what you were doing, that’s all,” sniffed Nick, looking offended.  “I can see I’m not wanted.”  He turned away from her melodramatically.

“I’m shopping, why else would I be at the grocery store?”  Judy fetched her shopping cart, which had tried to escape before crashing against a pillar in the organic produce shop.  Nick turned to face her again with a grin, and he buffed his claws against the green button-up he was wearing.

“I knew you loved me, Carrots.”  He peered into her cart.  “Whatcha getting’ me?  Rutabagas?  You know I don’t like rutabagas.”

“But I do, and these are my groceries, Nick.  What are you doing here?”  She took the bag of rutabagas from Nick, who had picked them up to sniff delicately at them, and put them back in the cart. 

“Oh, I’m shopping too.  I have a party tomorrow and needed some supplies, and this is my favorite produce shop.”  He nudged Judy gently aside and started walking away with her cart, and she followed, rolling her eyes.

“What sort of party?  Where’s my invitation?”  Judy plucked a carton of blueberries from a shelf as she spoke, shooting Nick a grin.  He grinned back.

“Birthday party for my girl, actually.  You don’t know each other, so I didn’t think to invite you.  I suppose you could come if you’d like though, I’ve talked about you to her.”  Though she kept her smile, something in Judy’s chest tightened a little.  She’d known him for a year and a half and had been actively working with him on the force for six months and hadn’t known he was dating.  What kind of friend was she?

“Oh.”  _Oh? How original,_ Judy scolded herself.  _Just wear your heart on your sleeve, will you?_   “I had no idea you had another girl in your life.  What’s her name?”  They reached the end of one aisle, rounded it and started down another, and Nick picked up a bag of strawberries and stuck them in her cart.

“Ghost.”  Nick turned to look at Judy; he was smiling, but it wasn’t a smirk so Judy took him seriously.  “Her middle name, actually, but she _loathes_ her first name, so Ghost.  Should I tell her you’re coming?”

“She wouldn’t mind?” Judy nabbed a bag of peanuts and dropped them in her cart as Nick did the same.

“Nah.  She likes meeting my friends.  Said she wants to meet you at some point anyway, since I talk about you so much.  Party starts around three tomorrow.  No need to bring anything, we’ll have everything taken care of.  Although…if you could convince your buddy Gideon to drive a strawberry cake with cream cheese icing up here tomorrow….”

Judy laughed and bumped him with her hip.  “Fraid not on such short notice, but I’ll tell him you asked about it.”  Nick had met Gideon once very briefly a month prior when the baker had come to Zootopia looking for some hard-to-find ingredient or other; Judy and Nick had met him during their lunch, and Gideon made sure to bring her a pie.  She shared with Nick and the younger fox now had a diehard fan, which was clear in Nick’s look of disappointment.

“Ah well,” drawled Nick, “I suppose you’re right.  Worth a shot though.  I’ve got what I need here and I need to get back.  See you tomorrow?”  Judy nodded with a smile as he gathered up his few items and sauntered to the register.  She couldn’t help but notice how his bushy tail swayed in pleasure as he glanced back at her at the last minute.

She’d gotten home before she realized the fiend had stolen her blueberries.

Judy sat in her apartment after a meal of steamed carrots and a spinach-based salad staring at her desk.  She’d considered buying a gift for Nick’s girlfriend, but without knowing the vixen it would be difficult to know what would be appropriate; besides, she didn’t know her at all, and thus a gift would be unexpected, and Nick himself told her not to bring anything. 

She found herself wondering how long they’d been dating.  It had to be at least the last six months, because after returning from the Academy he’d never stuck around long after shifts at work, always going off home.  They’d had dinners, of course, and seen each other some weekends.  They kept in contact on the weekends; in fact, she would have called him tonight if she hadn’t bumped into him, as it was Saturday and they didn’t have work today.  But as well as they got along and as close they’d become, he’d never thought to mention a girlfriend.  It rankled her, filling her with a certain annoyance.

And that annoyance had nothing at all to do with the fact that she laid out the outfit of hers Nick loved most, her jeans and pink gingham shirt, for the next day.  She just thought that she was important enough to him that he’d mention such a thing.  It was a good thing to know. 

The next day, she dressed in the outfit she’d laid out and started over to the address Nick had texted her the previous evening as his apartment; halfway there, though, she decided to purchase a bottle of blueberry wine for the party.  Since she left early, she ended up showing up right on time, knocking on the door at two minutes to three.  When Nick answered, wearing a grey ZPD teeshirt and slacks, she smiled and brandished the wine.

“Afternoon, Slick.  Brought something for the party.”  Nick laughed and took the bottle.

“You know me too well, Carrots.  Not sure alcohol is appropriate to this party, but it’s certainly appreciated.  Come on in.”  He opened the door to admit her, and she entered without hesitation.

His apartment was…actually, really nice.  The living room was just off the entrance, and it had a long green corduroy couch, a wood coffee table and end tables that matched the polished oak hardwood floor, and a black entertainment center.  The kitchen was off the entrance on the other side, moderate size with modern appliances and a four-seat dining table.  The place was immaculately clean even considering the six other occupants:  two fennec foxes, one of whom was Finnick and the other an older male Judy had never met; an older red fox who looked a lot like Nick himself; a young male black fox; a young female ocelot; and Ghost.  It was painfully obvious that’s who it was:  she was a red fox in build, but her fur was an unbroken soft cloud-grey all over except for her ears, which were overly large and dark.  Her features and stature was somewhat smaller than a red fox proper, though a great deal larger than a fennec; the lines in her face and the curves in her body were graceful and beautiful, and her eyes were gorgeous:  the left one was hazel, and the right a bright spring green, making her gaze startling and beautiful.  She was very young, maybe eighteen at most, and the moment Judy saw her she knew why Nick had been smitten with her.

The vixen’s dual-toned eyes flicked across the living room as the door closed behind Judy, stopping briefly on Nick with a sweet smile before settling on Judy.  The smile broadened to an excited, friendly one, and Judy was stunned into immobility with the sheer magnetism of the expression.  This vixen, Judy knew, could start wars.  It was such that she hardly noticed Finnick’s greeting to her as he shuffled past her to grab a drink from the kitchen.

“Everyone,” Nick said to the room, “this is Judy Hopps, my friend and partner.  Judy, everyone.”  There were murmured replies all around and the introductions went around proper:  The other fennec was Thomas, Ghost’s grandfather.  The older vixen was Victoria, Ghost’s paternal grandmother.  The black fox and the ocelot were friends of Ghost’s, Jim and Linda respectively.  Once the introductions were over, Nick entered the living room proper with Judy and Ghost danced—she literally _danced_ , Jesus Christ above this girl was _graceful_ —across the room and draped herself over Nick.  She was only two inches taller than Judy herself.

“Judy,” said Nick with a chuckle as he hugged Ghost, “This is my daughter, Ghost.”

Judy’s jaw dropped, and she gaped at them.

“Y-your _daughter_?” Her mouth closed with a snap and she swallowed before looking at the vixen, who had stepped back from Nick.  “Sorry…I didn’t realize Nick had any family.  It’s great to meet you, happy birthday.”

“Oh, I’m not surprised,” said Ghost with a grin that was so very close to Nick’s trademark smirk.  Her voice was as enchantingly feminine as the rest of her.  “Dad doesn’t like to talk about me much, he thinks if everyone knows he has a kid I’ll be in danger.”

“Old habit from my conning days, Carrots, sorry.”  Ghost shot Nick a dirty look.

“Did you just call her Carrots?!”  Nick and Judy both laughed, and Judy launched the explanation of the nickname.

The party went pretty well.  Turned out Victoria was Nick’s mother, a mother who absolutely adored Judy from the first moment they interacted, and Thomas was Ghost’s grandfather on her other side.  Music was played, Nick made a fantastic vegetarian lasagna which was followed with strawberry cake and strawberry ice cream (turned out Ghost was as nuts over strawberries as Nick was over blueberries), and they sat around laughing and joking for several hours.  Eventually it winded down; the younger ones had school the next day, all seniors in high school, and the adults had work, so it didn’t go too deep into the evening.

It was shortly after everyone had left and Ghost had dozed off into her father’s side when Judy brought Nick a glass of the blueberry wine.

“I noticed no mother was mentioned,” said Judy softly.  Nick nodded.

“Yeah.”  He drew Ghost closer, hugging her to him; it looked unconscious.  “When I was seventeen, I had a bit of a love affair with this half-fennec girl in my graduating class.  She had one kit, and we named her Nicole Ghost Wilde.  I met Helen on a con, she was in a similar business, and two years after we had Gogo here Helen didn’t come home.  Signs of foul play, but we never did find her body.  Mom helped raise her after that.”  Judy looked down at her own glass of wine.

“I’m sorry.”  She wished she hadn’t brought it up.

“Don’t be; it was sixteen years ago, and you didn’t know.”  There was a few moments silence as they sipped the wine before Nick looked over at Judy with a grin.  “You didn’t realize she was my daughter; who did you think she was?”  Judy blushed furiously, but she smirked at Nick.

“I thought you were dating her.  Knew as soon as I saw her you couldn’t be though, she’s amazing looking.  Out of _your_ league, certainly.  She’s so gorgeous _I’m_ thinking of dating her.”  Nick chuckled.

“She certainly is out of my league,” he agreed with a quiet chuckle.  “You can ask her out if you want but I hear her dad is really mean.  Really strong too, a hotshot cop, I’d step lightly.”  Judy laughed with him, and they descended into a companionable silence.  Once they finished their glasses of wine, Nick shook Ghost awake in order to get her to go to bed, and Judy stood to leave.

“Thanks for letting me come, Nick,” said the bunny once she’d said goodbye to the vixen.  “I really enjoyed this.”

  
“Any time, Carrots.  And hey, Ghost loved you, so don’t be a stranger.”  He hugged Judy lightly, and the bunny embraced him in return before leaving.

It was a nice little family, and she was happy to have some small place in it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The image attached to the bottom of the story is basically what Ghost looks like, only Ghost's ears are bigger.
> 
> I know, Ghost is an odd name. But she hates her first name, and if you call her Nicole she'll BITE YOUR FACE OFF. (Uncle Finnick would be so proud :3 )
> 
> So yes. This is my first real chapter here, and I hope it's up to snuff. Please feel free to leave comments!


	3. The First Crisis Emerges

**3 January, 2027**

**(Ten years after the conclusion of the Nighthowler Incident)**

* * *

 

“You need to calm down.”  Judy’s voice pierced an extended silence in the squad car, a silence that had endured most of their shift.  Nick glanced over at her with a raised eyebrow.

“If I’m crying, I’m dying,” replied Nick sardonically, an impish smile softening the potential blow.  Judy scoffed and didn’t honor him with even a glance as she took a corner too sharply.

“Don’t do that, Nick.”  She continued to drive, focused on the task, but aware enough of her partner to notice him flinch; at her words or her driving wasn’t clear.  “You’re worried, Slick, I know.  I am too.  But she’s an adult, alright?  Ghost is twenty-five.  She’s not a kitten anymore.”

Nick let out a long, deep sigh and ran a paw over his head.  “I know, Carrots,” replied the fox seriously.  “She’s grown, I get it.  But gods, she has way too much of me in her.  I know how bad that is.  I know me, after all, and I can’t help but worry.  I mean, it’s the ZIA, for Karma’s sake.”  He was gesticulating wildly, his paws flashing through the air in front of him energetically.

“Nick.”

“The ZIA is dangerous work, Fluff.  It really is.”

“Nick….”

“And she’s going to be right in the middle of it.”

“ _Nick,_ damn it, _chill._ ”  Judy hit the breaks hard, stopping just in time at a red light to avoid having to ticket herself.  “Ghost’s handler is one of the best.  Savage will make sure she has the skills she needs to survive.”

Nick sighed again and shook his head.  “I know.  You’re right.  Your cousin really knows what he’s doing, I shouldn’t doubt.  But it’s my daughter, Fluff.  I think I have the right to a minor freak-out.”  He grinned sheepishly at her, and she matched the grin with a comforting one of her own.

“Ghost is her father’s daughter, Nick.  Trust her.”

Nick’s smile warmed and he opened his mouth to reply, but the radio interrupted.

_“Ten-seventy-one and ten-eighty on Prowl and Flock.  All units respond; units on-site unresponsive, expect deadly resistance. Use of force is authorized.”_

“Shots fired and an explosion,” muttered Nick as Judy gunned it and turned around.  Nick flicked on the sirens and reached back to grab a vest behind the seat, pulling it on while Judy drove.

The scene was chaotic when they arrived, the second police unit on the scene.  The other pair of officers were already investigating the explosion site, a store front that was now in shambles, and paramedics were arriving as Nick and Judy jumped out of their car and grabbed weapons from the trunk.

“Sit rep.”  Judy approached the other officers, Delgato and Fangmeyer, who were looking grimly into the wreckage.

“McHorn took a hit,” said Fangmeyer.  The tigress shook her head and gripped her weapon.  “He’s down inside, not sure of his condition.  Suspects are small to medium size and fled further in the building when we arrived on-site.”

“Officer Hopps and I will run them down.”  Nick slotted shells into his shotgun, racking the pump to chamber a shell.  “You guys assess the building and get McHorn out of there, secure the scene.  Growley and Fang Junior should get here in a moment, I want them covering us in the alley.”  Everyone nodded except Judy, who was putting her radio headset in her ear.  Once a radio check was performed, she and Nick stalked forward, heedless of the two other squad cars arriving behind them.

The pair crept through the bombed out shop, taking note of what they saw as they went.  It appeared to have been a holistic pharmacy of some kind.  McHorn was in a heap, lacerations and blood and burns covering his body; he seemed to have been in the blast zone of whatever explosive was set off, but he was breathing; it was a testament of his size that he was still alive.  Behind him, perhaps shielded by the rhino, there were other mammals, all unconscious and bloody:  two antelope, one badger, and a goat, all unarmed.

“McHorn is alive,” reported Judy as they cleared the room and moved to the back.  “I see four other mammals in here, civilians also in bad shape.  Get those paramedics in here.”

The back room was mostly untouched and Nick took the lead, his nose wiggling as he took in the scents of the room.  Judy took the time to scan and listen:  the back room was mostly taken up by shelves of backstock and at first Judy could only hear the commotion on the street and the paramedics rushing to care for the fallen mammals outside.  She picked up the sound of a door closing at the same moment Nick caught a scent, and their eyes met in a brief moment of nonverbal communication.

Judy took the lead, letting her ears lead them, while Nick used his nose to back up her ears.  There was movement in the back corner where an office was situated, and Judy counted four distinct footfall patterns as they neared the door, in addition to two panicked breathing sounds.  She signaled Nick:  _Four suspects, two captives?_

Nick signed a response:  _four scents that don’t belong; captives work here._   Judy briefly thought about a time many years ago when she’d been utterly baffled by his signs; it made her smile, which was utterly inappropriate in the moment.  She adjusted her grip on her sidearm as they stopped in front of the office door, flicking the safety off at the same moment Nick did the same on his shotgun.  When Nick signaled he was ready, Judy slung the door open.  Nick surged in and she followed, both shouting.

“ZPD, paws up!”  Inside were two sheep, a goat, and an ibex, all wearing armored vests and ski masks and armed with large-bore handguns, as well as an ocelot and a muntjac who were held at gunpoint.  As the door slammed open and Nick and Judy entered the door, the two sheep shifted their aim to the officers.

“Drop it!”  shouted Judy, drawing a bead on the bigger of the two rams.

“We may fall, officer, but our solemn mission will continue.”  The larger ram spoke calmly, his voice full of purpose.  When he finished speaking, the other three spoke at once.

_“Et impudici, peribunt!”_ The shout was followed by five deafening roars of sound and force as the suspects and then Nick each fired their weapons. 

Judy hadn’t been shot before.  Now that she had, she decided she didn’t like it much.  It was like being punched in the chest by a rhino, knocking her flat and driving the air from her lungs.  Such was the force of the impact on her vest that she completely lost awareness.

The next thing she was aware of was the blaring of officers in one ear, her own gasping, someone very large standing on her chest, and Nick talking much too loudly in her face.  She continued gasping and slapped him away, then turned over to sit on her hands and knees.

Finally, she was able to catch her breath.

“Judy?  You’re breathing again, are you okay?” Judy took a deep breath.  It was painful, she thought she might have a broken rib or two.

“Fine,” wheezed the bunny.  “m’fine.  Broken rib.”  She looked up and blinked at Nick.  His fur, which was normally very orange, was now more of a deep red.  “That’s a really bad look on you.”  She reached up to run her fingers through his fur, showing him the stain of blood that resulted.  “You shot someone.”

“Two someones,” replied Nick, pulling her to her feet.  “So did you, actually, though I think it was more clench reflex than an actual decision.”  Judy nodded.  She knew her firearm had discharged, though she had been hit at the same moment so she couldn’t say she had done so on purpose.  She tried taking another deep breath—and failed—before turning to look at the scene they were leaving.

She wished she hadn’t looked.  The suspects were dead.  The ram she’d been pointing her weapon at had a spot of gore on the left side of his chest where the ill-fitting armor didn't protect him, and the other sheep who had been standing behind him took the bullet in the throat as it exited the first target.  This was nothing however compared to the utter mess left behind in the wake of Nick’s shotgun discharging twice into the goat and ibex.  They’d had no chance at all of survival, and Judy cringed away from the gore.

The captives had been executed.  Judy and Nick acted too slowly.

_“Wilde! Hopps!  Report!”_  Delgato’s voice rang over the radio, and Judy flinched, then reached to reply.

“Four suspects down; two victims also down.  I took a hit, Officer Wilde is fine.  Have Growley and Junior sweep the area.  We’re reporting to medical.”

Judy and Nick were on desk duty for the following week, partly thanks to Judy’s three broken ribs and partly thanks to the standard investigation that followed discharging firearms on the job.  During that time, they wrote their reports on the incident, gave their depositions, and reflected on what happened.

Currently, they had just gotten background checks back from the victims.

“This is interesting,” commented Nick, looking at the files.  “None of them have much in common.  The ocelot and muntjac owned the shop and lived together, and the others were apparently regular shoppers, but beyond that…several ungulates, but the badger and the ocelot obviously weren’t.  Predator and prey.  Mechanic, nurse, baker, secretary.  It’s random.  Just a random attack.”

“It can’t be.”  Judy hopped off her chair and rounded the desk to Nick’s to look at the files herself.  “That ram was a fanatic about something.  What was that he said?  It was something latin.  They all chanted it like a mantra. _Et… Et impudi_ something?”

“ _Et impudici, peribunt._ ”  Nick pulled out his phone and dialed a number.  “I know a guy, hang on.  Hey, Tommie, it’s Nick!....yeah, I got it, thanks!  Listen, I have a question for you.  I have a phrase here, can you translate?”  The conversation was quick and when Nick hung up he looked uncertain.  “Latin alright, good ear.  It means ‘the impure will perish.’  Sounds religious.”

“The impure….”  Judy trailed off, thinking hard as she looked the files over.  She could see no links either.  “I wonder if my cousin would recognize it.  Maybe I should call him.”  She started to turn to her own desk before something caught her eye.  “Hold on, that’s Charlie Malcolms.  The ocelot.  I thought I recognized her, she’s been to several pro-interspecies marriage rallies.”

Nick gave her a surprised and altogether too delighted look.  “How would you know that, Fluff?  Getting your kicks with a non-bunny?” 

“No!  I um…”  Judy looked away sheepishly.  “I’ve um, attended them myself.  I just have an interest in the cause.  Let me call Jack, see if he can give us any new information on any of these victims.  Meanwhile, why don’t you organize some interviews with family and friends, see if anyone else was involved in the interspecies thing.”  Nick hopped up and moved without a word to do that very thing, shooting her a knowing wink as he passed her, and she hoped to whatever gods were listening that he couldn’t see her blush.

She called from her desk phone, and it went through quickly.

“Jude the dude, as I live and breathe,” said the masculine and confident voice on the other end.  Judy knew he’d be grinning widely, his perfect teeth shining as white as his fur.

“Yeah yeah, you knew it was me, show-off.”  Judy chuckled and sat at her desk as she talked.  “Alright Jackie Pie, I need a consultation.  Can you help?”

“You know me,” said Jack, a smile evident in his voice.  “Anything for my favorite cousin.  What’ve you got?”

Judy took a breath, and repeated the latin phrase to Jack.  She heard the creak of his desk chair, suggesting he straightened in his seat.  “It means ‘the impure—‘”

“’—will perish,’ yes.”  Jack’s voice was serious again.  “Where did you hear that?  Was it at that shooting last week?”

“Yes, actually.”  Judy gave him a rundown of the event, but before she’d finished she heard keys clacking on his end.

“Sheep and goats and an ibex,” said Jack as if he were reading.  “I have the reports here, benefit of being a senior field agent.  Listen, Jude, this is something big.  I don’t know why we didn’t flag it before.  I’m escalating it to Director Brennan, we’re taking jurisdiction on this one.”

“What?” exclaimed Judy, sitting up sharply.  “You can’t just take the case from us, Jack!”

“Judy,” replied Jack, speaking over the doe.  “This is related to an ongoing operation on our end and we’re taking control.  You want to be involved, you can act as ZIA assets from here on out.  When things come to a head, I’m sure we could use you and Nick anyway; I hear your partner is quite the sniper when he wants to be.  I need to deal with this, Judy.  Take care.”  He hung up before she could even reply.  Within a minute, every file related to the case was inexplicably sealed with top secret clearance and within ten minutes Bogo was calling her in a fury, wanting to know precisely why the director of the ZIA had called him with a cease and desist order on the case.

On the bright side, McHorn was expected to make a full recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a police officer, nor do I know any police officers personally. Any errors in police procedure presented here are my own, and I beg your pardon.
> 
> Feedback is welcome! I hope you enjoyed this new chapter!


	4. The Climax Arrives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ:
> 
> This chapter contains a major character death. Any of you who have read the "prequel" to this, A Vignette of Distant Sorrow, know it's been coming, and here it is. There is nothing happy here.
> 
> You've been warned.

**13 February, 2028**

**(Eleven years after the conclusion of the Nighthowler Incident)**

A year passed after the explosion and shooting in which Detectives Wilde and Hopps were involved.  They continued to do their jobs and after awhile, the bitterness they felt at having the case taken from them by the ZIA began to fade.  Now it was a year later, and Nick and Judy were having a late breakfast on their day off.

“I can’t believe Bogo isn’t the chief anymore,” commented Judy, taking a sip of carrot juice.  “It’ll be weird, not seeing him every day.”

“Buffalo Butt will always be the chief.”  Nick sipped his own drink, a blueberry juice.  “But it _was_ time for him to retire.  The cancer forced his hand, of course, otherwise he’d still be there.”

They were silent for a few minutes, eating their breakfast.  Nick was enjoying a spinach omelet, and Judy had a pleasant fruit salad.  Eventually, Judy broke the comfortable silence.

“So I was thinking.  Remember when we went to Bunnyburrow on our last vacation?” 

Nick hummed an affirmative, still chewing on his last bite of food.  It had been a good week.  Nick had been there before that, of course, and the family loved him.  Bonnie had the habit of fussing over Nick’s weight, giving him more food than he could eat.  In fact, she kept a stock of fish and bug protein in their freezer for when Nick came to visit.  Stu, on the other hand, liked to put Nick to work whenever he came over, having him help with heavy lifting and the like, something Nick never minded.

“Something mom said,” continued the bunny, “made me think.  We’re both detectives now, have been for awhile, and yet we’re both still living in crummy apartments.  Yours is better than mine, of course, but it’s still small.”

“Let me guess.”  Nick set his fork aside and leaned on his elbows.  “Bonnie told you that you need to find a warren of your own now that you’re in your thirties, and get married.”  Judy chuckled and shook her head.

“Not quite.  Well…yes.  Kind of.  She told me that I need to find a home, instead of that closet I live in.  She did suggest someone she thought I should marry, but her main focus was getting me in an actual home.”  At her marriage comment, the inside of Judy’s ears went red with a blush and she looked away.  She continued before Nick could make a joke, however.

“So anyway, she told me that if it’s a matter of money, she’d help me pay for it.”

“An offer you promptly refused, no doubt.  Where was I during this conversation?”  Judy grinned at his insight.

“Of course I refused.  At this point we were cooking and you were teaching dad how to shoot.  Don’t interrupt.”  She paused to take a sip of her juice and Nick grinned at her.  “When I refused, she said, ‘well, why don’t you just live with Nick?’  She had a point, too.  I mean, we both could use a new place, and we see each other all the time anyway.  We can afford a nice three bedroom flat in a good neighborhood, after all.”

“What do we need with three rooms?” 

Judy shrugged.  “Ghost visits when she’s not on a job.”  Nick nodded.  His daughter was out of the country at the moment, but she did indeed visit him whenever she was in town.

“I can’t say I object, of course,” replied the fox.  “Why don’t we take some time next weekend to look around, then?”  It was settled and Judy was going to say so but she got a call.  She stepped away to take the call, and when she returned she was frowning.

“It was Jack.”  She put some bills on the table and Nick stood to follow her out.  “He needs to see us immediately.”

The white rabbit waited for them at the precinct.  It was not the first time they’d met like this, and Jack took them to the interrogation room they usually used as a meeting place without comment.  Once they were all seated, Jack handed a case file over to them.

“The Lambs of Divinity,” said Jack, clasping his paws.  “Their first major attack was on the other side of the country.  Blew up a courthouse where there were debates going on about interspecies marriage.  Since then, they’ve attacked major proponents all over the country.  You witnessed one such attack in January last year.  Ghost and I, as well as other agents and civilian assets, have been working to prevent some of the largest attacks they’ve planned.  We’ve succeeded, for the most part, but as of this morning at oh-seven-hundred Ghost went dark.  We can’t contact her, which—sit back down, Detective Wilde—all it means is she’s failed her latest assignment and has gone to plan B.

“The Lambs of Divinity have big plans.  You might be aware, in one week the Zootopian government is planning to legalize interspecies marriage.  The terrorists plan to bomb the city.  Ghost and her team were meant to acquire the bomb and destroy it before it left the facility in which it’s being built.  If they are in radio silence it means they’re on the train transporting it here and will defuse it en-route.”

“This is the first time you’ve told us what’s going on with Ghost,” said Judy calmly, gripping Nick’s paw.  “You need something from us.”

Jack nodded.  “I’ve informed Chief Delgato and he’s organizing strike teams as we speak.  I have some teams of my own coming in, they’ll be here tonight, but I need the ZPD to support us.  If the bomb doesn’t go off there will be a firefight.  It’s the terrorists’ Plan B:  wholesale slaughter on the street.  Force a panic, then burn the city to the ground.”

“Where do you need us?”  Nick’s voice was deceptively calm.  Judy could see the fire in his eyes, could feel the tension in his clenched paw.

“Wilde, you’ll be on the roof of the ZPD.  We have a rifle for you.  You’ll be the tip of our spear, our first strike.  We know where they’ll arrive, and you can see it from the perch on the ZPD building.  Once the battle begins, you’ll be our eye in the sky, one of three snipers with a view of the whole area.  You’ll feed intelligence to the ground forces.  Your designation will be Angel One.

“Judy, you’ll head up one of our assault teams.  I’m giving you command of the Agency’s Precision Task Force, made up of weasels and rabbits.  You’ll be paired with Angel One, who will feed you battlefield intelligence as you go along.  Your job will be to take out the enemy’s heavy hitters.  They’ve recruited wolf mercenaries who are very well-trained in heavy weapons.  Nick will likely be able to take out a few before they adapt, but in the end we’ll rely on you.  The agency will be arming you with armor-piercing P90 submachine guns, which should do the trick.  Your designation will be Shadow One.  Questions?”

Judy and Nick looked at each other for a moment, before Judy spoke.  “Yeah.  Civilians?”

“Being evacuated from the area tonight.”

“When does the show begin?”

Jack sighed.  “Our intelligence indicates that they will arrive tomorrow evening.  Probably just after dusk, so we’ll have everyone set up an hour before sundown.”

“Why isn’t the army being called in?”  Nick sounded ever so slightly aggressive, but Jack ignored the tone.

“The army can’t mobilize fast enough.  You are what we have.  We just found out we failed to head them off an hour ago.  The terrorist force went to ground and we lost them.  Four good agents were killed in the attempt to stop them from leaving, so don’t play with me, fox.”

The silence was painful and lasted a beat too long.

“Let’s introduce you two to the people you’ll be working with.”

The other people involved were upstairs already.  While Nick spoke to a wolf and a leopard—the other two snipers—Judy was introduced to six mammals that would make up her Shadow force.  It was two weasels, Julie and Van; three bunnies, Brad, Rachel, and Harold; and one bobcat named James.  They were all agents of the ZIA and had been working together for years.  Even so, they seemed perfectly cordial and comfortable with taking orders from Judy, which surprised her.

“Why would we not be okay with it?”  Rachel, a black-furred rabbit, lounged against a nearby desk comfortably.  “We’ve all seen your file.  You’re a good leader, a smart cop.  We’ve had to work with worse.”

“Besides, you’re cuter than the others we’ve worked with,” said the bobcat James with a grin.  The grin only widened when Rachel punched him.  “What?  It’s true.”

“Stop drooling, Jim,” retorted Rachel.  “She’s taken already.  Flirting will get you nowhere.”

Judy shot her a look.  “How do you figure I’m taken?”  Rachel laughed at her.

“Oh please,” said Rachel.  “I’m a bunny doe with a functioning nose and working eyes.  If you’re not taken yet you will be.”  She shot a pointed look toward Nick, who was telling some amusing story to his counterparts, causing the three of them to laugh.  Judy felt a warm feeling in her gut that wasn’t entirely embarrassment. 

All in all, the day went well.  Judy’s group split off to run some practice maneuvers in the ZPD training yard to get a feel for how they would work together while Nick and his fellow snipers outlined tactical coverage and area responsibilities.  They went to bed tired and stressed, but Judy knew that things were about to change.  She felt it deep within her bones that by the time the dust settled the following day, her life would change forever.

Valentine’s Day dawned dark, the sky filled with storm clouds.  The news said it would rain by the end of the day, but it said nothing at all about the impending terrorist attack or the evacuation of civilians from the vicinity of Savanna Central’s ZPD Precinct One building.  The majority of the day was spent in further planning and equipping themselves.  Judy was given a tailored suit of ballistic armor which would protect most of her body.  She was also given her weapons:  an FN P90 built to her size with sound suppressor and red dot sight, extra magazines for the firearm, and a small collection of siren grenades.

“What’s a siren grenade?”  Judy asked her teammates when they were being equipped.  Before they could answer, Nick did from the locker next to them.

“It’s a sound bomb,” said the fox.  “It’s designed to incapacitate wolves and other canids.  Emits a god-awful screeching sound that canids can hear really well.”

“We call them cry babies,” added James. 

Finally, the moment came.  Across the square from the ZPD was a subway station from which the terrorists were supposed to exit.  Four teams were arrayed in a semicircle around it behind sandbag walls and other cover, with another six teams in a secondary shell around them.  Nick was on top of the ZPD building watching, and Judy and her team were hidden with one of the four front teams.

“ _Attention all teams,_ ” came Jack’s voice from the radio earbuds.  “ _We have just received word from our team on the road.  The bomb has been neutralized.  ETA one hour ten minutes.”_

It was of course a mixed blessing.  A nuclear weapon would not devastate the city, but that meant they would have to face a pitched battle in a very short time. 

The next hour was very quiet.  The only sound was the checking and double-checking of weapons and the quiet prayers of those who were predisposed to religiousness.

When it began, it began fast.  A trio of armored elephants barreled up from the subway station spraying the area with machine guns.  In that first assault several officers went down, their cries of pain heard even over the gunfire.  Returned gunfire was mostly ineffective, striking very thick battle armor on the pachyderms, while they defended a second surge of terrorists who fled into a building near the station, wolves carrying crates.

It took only another moment for Nick to put down two of the three elephants, his high powered rifle punctured the helmets they wore.  The other fell to gunfire from other officers.

Behind them streamed a dozen foreign sheep and rams, all armed and armored, and as they entered the scene they threw grenades.

“ _Shadow One,_ ” came Nick’s voice.  “ _Your target is setting up on third floor.  I’ll open a path to the alley.  Go go go._ ”  She moved without hesitation, her team following as—true to his word—Nick’s sharpshooting formed enough of a distraction that they could make it to the alley next to the building in question without being noticed.  It was an apartment building, and it was empty as they entered.  The lights were on full, and the team moved quietly and quickly through the first floor to a set of stairs going up.  They stopped at the bottom stair and Judy listened past the sounds of battle outside and the chirping of Nick providing intelligence to other teams.

She shook her head and whispered, “I can’t hear any guards.  Two, Three, and Four move up to the landing.”  James, Harold, and Van moved to the first landing, checked the stairs beyond, and motioned the rest up.  They covered five of the six landings leading up to the third floor in that fashion and were stopped by a pair of wolves at the top, one facing the stairwell and one facing the hall.

As Judy and one of the weasels squeezed off two sound-suppressed shots—which nonetheless sounded loud in the hall, like a sledge hammer smacking stone—killing the two arctic wolves above them, a shiver passed through Judy.  They approached the bodies and Judy cringed at the sight, the headshots having sent gore splattering across the stairwell.  It wasn’t that the gore bothered her—she’d been a cop for a long time, after all.  Something did, however twist in her gut as she looked at the fallen canids.

She shook her head and moved on.

They reached the apartment in which the wolves were setting up; they could hear them talk in another language and the sound of equipment being assembled was clear.

“Angel One, give me numbers,” whispered Judy.

“ _Team Three, watch your flank.  You have incoming.  Shadow One, you’re looking at seven bodies.  There were ten but they were smote from above._ ”

Judy considered for a moment, then motioned to two of her team members.  “Cry baby cry,” she said, pulling a siren grenade.

“ _Make your mother sigh.  Cry baby go._ ” Judy punctuated Nick’s call with slamming the apartment door open and throwing her grenade, which was followed by two others and then the team of agents.  In the split second before the siren grenades went off, a lot happened at once.

First, four of the wolves turned around and started firing at them.  James was hit in the throat, the bobcat dropping in a flash of blood immediately.  Then, two other wolves fired long tubular weapons into the battle below, sending rockets into the street.  The detonations were clearly heard, as were the cries of  agony that followed.  Finally, the last remaining wolf finished loading the small minigun they’d brought up and assembled.

Then, the siren grenades went off.  Judy only heard a high-pitched whine, but it must have been agony to the wolves because they dropped everything and clutched their ears in pain.

It made killing them simple.

“Wolves are down,” said Judy to her radio.  “Repeat, wolves are down.”

“ _Good job, Shadow One,_ ” said Nick.  “ _Take control of their weapon and lend support._ ” 

Once they turned the minigun on the enemy below, tearing the aggressors to shreds, the battle fell apart very quickly.  In only a few more minutes, the handful of surviving terrorists surrendered, and the gunfire fell silent.

In the aftermath of it, Judy learned very quickly that the other snipers had been killed early on, shot by a terrorist sharpshooter.  Nick managed to kill the sniper before he got picked off, and proceeded to spend the rest of the battle covering intelligence for the whole of the battlefield.  His sharpshooting and coordinating had saved a dozen lives and prevented them from losing the battle entirely.

They hadn’t told Judy that he’d been shot.  She found him sitting in the back of an ambulance, a bandage on his ear.

“Nick, what happened to your ear?!”  She jumped up into the ambulance and fussed over him until he shrugged her off.

“Stop touching it, it hurts!  It’s just a new piercing, Carrots.  A seven-point-six-two caliber piercing.  I’m fine.”  He pushed her down into a seated position.

“If you say so, Slick.  I’ll still worry.”  He chuckled at her, but watched the scene before them.  Paramedics were out gathering the injured while officers and agents arrested the surviving terrorists, most of whom were sheep.  They could see a couple non-sheep, though:  a moose, a couple deer, a weasel. 

They sat in silence for a long few minutes before Judy spoke.

“Nick,” said Judy without looking over, “why did we never date?”

“That’s a great question, Fluff,” replied Nick, rubbing his ear absently.  “I can’t speak for you, but I never asked you out…out of fear.”  The statement hung heavy in the air for a moment as Judy processed it.

“Fear…of what, Nick?  My dad?  He loves you.”  Judy finally looked over to him, and he smiles at her.

“Not at all.  I was afraid you’d reject me.  I’ve been rejected and pushed aside and abandoned so many times in my life…I just couldn’t bear to put myself at that risk again.”  Nick looked away again, facing forward, and Judy sighed.

“I could never reject you, Nick,” murmured Judy.  She leaned into him, and his arm went around her, drawing her closer.  “Not ever.  You’re my best friend.  I’d be lucky to have you as a mate.”

Nick smiled into the darkness beyond the ambulance where other officers were restraining suspects and asked the question of her:  “So…why didn’t you ever ask _me_ out?” 

“Fear,” giggled Judy.  “The fear of rejection.  I convinced myself that to you, my ears are too long, my tail too short, fur too soft, muzzle too short.  I show all the wrong traits when it comes to vulpine beauty, and I’ve seen how you look at vixens.  So…I was so sure you’d reject me.  I couldn’t face that.”

Nick looked down at her.  He wasn’t smiling: his face was one of neutral focus, a burning glow hinted at underneath.

“I could never reject you, Judy,” muttered Nick.  “You changed everything for me.  I don’t care if your ears are too long and your tail isn’t poofy enough.  You’re not a vixen, and you shouldn’t be held to those standards.  You’re beautiful to me, and you’re my best friend too.  We’ve spent so many years working together, laughing together, crying together, and we only didn’t take that last step out of fear.  What a pair we make, huh?”

Judy was silent for a bit, listening to Nick’s breathing and heartbeat.

“I love you, Nick.  You’re my fox.”  The statement was forward and bold and timid and so very Judy, and Nick smiled again.

“I love you too, Judy.  And you’re my bunny.  Always.  Happy Valentine’s Day.”

The moment was perfect.  They both knew it, and they both knew as they locked eyes and leaned into each other that everything was going to change.  Nick bent as Judy stretched up, and their lips tingled with anticipation…

…and a commotion across the street drew their attention.  Judy and Nick looked over to see one of the surviving suspects from the firefight slip his cuffs and bite into the officer escorting him; the tiger yelled in pain and recoiled, giving the suspect, a weasel, the opportunity to grab the officer’s side arm.  The weasel turned and fired wildly, attempting to hit the biggest officer present, the elephant Trunkaby who was passing near the ambulance.

The weasel missed.

The bullet meant for Trunkaby went wide and found another home.  Nick’s head snapped back in the roar of the gunshot, the pristine ambulance interior behind him painted fresh with gore, and he collapsed back.  He was gone before he stopped falling, and Judy heard rather distantly the sound of screaming.  Some part of her knew it was her own voice.  It was the same part that registered four other gunshots, blowing the weasel away. 

The smell of blood pierced through everything, and something deep within Judy’s breast, something that was vitally important, broke, shattered beyond any hope of repair.

…

……

…

The academics call it fugue.  Like Novocain for the mind, hysteria can sometimes cause a psychological break separating a person’s awareness from her identity, reducing her to a fog-like state of apathetic nonreactivity.  It was into this state that Judy fell in the aftermath of Nick’s death.  She went through the motions without any real investment, spoke only when spoken to, and ate only when her body screamed at her to eat.  She barely noticed when Chief Delgato put her on indefinite leave.

Judy Hopps descended into a pit of darkness and guilt so deep that she didn’t even feel the pain of loss.  Her entire existence was the swirling maelstrom of numbness and shock, an omnipotent tempest of emotion and apathy from which she could see no escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...that's that. I'll be writing a chapter or two following up on this, and I might even go into the incident depicted in A Vignette of Distant Sorrow in one of the next two chapters. Those will be less devastating than this, I expect.
> 
> Please feel free to leave feedback.


	5. The Falling Action Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied when I said the next chapters wouldn't hit as hard as the last one. The last chapter was difficult.
> 
> This one is worse.

**16 February, 2028**

**(Two days after the death of Detective Nicholas Wilde)**

The funeral was held two days after the battle in Savannah Central, in late evening.  It was a full police funeral, complete with three-volley salute.  Every single officer who had ever worked with Nick—with exception of a small skeleton crew to maintain ZPD operations—showed up at the service, as well as dozens of citizens who had come to know him during his time as an officer.  His only remaining family was Ghost and her ten year old son, who stood with Judy during the ordeal.

Judy would never remember most of what was said during the funeral, or even who spoke.  She was aware of giving a short speech herself, saying words like “my best friend” and “integrity” and “grave loss” that sounded as hollow to her as they felt.

Judy herself gave the last radio call.  Of all the events at the funeral, this was the solitary thing that burned forever clear in her memory.  She managed to get through it clearly, her voice hoarse from crying yet speaking with strength she didn’t feel.

_“Calling Unit Nine-Three.  Calling Unit Nine-Three.  Last call for Unit Nine-Three._

_“No response from Detective Wilde.  This is Detective Wilde’s last call as he reports to his final duty station.  Detective Nicholas Wilde, you are clear for end of watch._

_“Godspeed.”_

The funeral ended with the cries of those who had been left behind.

Time passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets better from here, I promise. I'm already working on chapter six, and will probably have it posted by the night's end. 
> 
> I want you guys to know that I almost couldn't write this chapter. It's only two hundred forty-five words, but I took three hours to write it and had to stop on two separate occasions to go cry.
> 
> I felt it important to include this here. To not write this would be to gloss over the sacred rites we use to honor our fallen officers, and I couldn't do that.


	6. Resolutions Approach

**23 October, 2028**

**(Seven months after the death of Detective Nicholas Wilde)**

Judy began to surface from the depression in October.  She knew it was October because the shops had pumpkins and rubber spiders and fake web all over, and because the air had that mild bite that could only be felt in deep autumn.

She was on her way to an appointment with Doctor Rose Jumps, a bunny psychologist employed by the ZPD.  She had been going to these appointments every other week since March, and though she had been humiliated by it to begin with Judy had gotten very accustomed to going.  By now, it was simply another part of life.  She made it to the office near the precinct in plenty of time, despite having stopped at a café on the way to collect a hot chocolate and cinnamon bun.  It was as she exited the shop that it occurred to her with a shock that it was indeed October, and she walked the rest of the way staring around her at all the decorations and people sipping on pumpkin spice everything.

She was greeted warmly by Dr. Jumps as she entered the office, and Judy returned the greeting as she sat on the sofa.  It was a very simple office, really.  A desk was in one corner with all the amenities, and in the opposite corner was a two-seater sofa sized for small to medium mammals.  Dr. Jumps stood from her desk as Judy sat and moved to the armchair directly across from the sofa.

“So, Judy,” said the chestnut-colored psychologist, “you look well.  Tell me what’s happened since we spoke last?”

Judy folded her legs underneath herself and sipped her chocolate before speaking.  “I heard from Ghost.  She’s coming back to Zootopia in a couple weeks, because her son’s birthday is next month.”

“Are you planning to see Ghost?  I remember last time she came home you refused to see her.”

“I don’t know,” admitted Judy.  She nibbled on her bun.  “I’m not sure it would be appropriate.  The last time I saw her….”  She trailed off and looked away.

“I believe,” said Jumps gently, “the last time you saw her your libido decided to break the depressive barrier.”

“And I panicked,” said Judy quietly, “yes.  I told Nick…”  She faltered slightly uttering the name for the first time in seven months, and had to swallow.  “I told him once that Ghost is gorgeous.  If I had never gotten so close to him, I might have asked her out.  But like I tried explaining to you then, it wouldn’t be appropriate.  I don’t think I could handle it.”

“That’s understandable, Judy,” reassured Dr. Jumps.  “Sometimes, we have to close those doors for our own comfort and safety, and there’s no shame in that.” 

She’d explained this to Judy before, and Judy nodded in acceptance.  There was a small moment of silence as Judy worked a little more on her refreshments.

“How has your libido been faring?  Have you been able to manage?”

Judy nodded and swallowed her mouthful of cinnamon bun.  “Oh yes, your suggestions were very helpful.  I still have to self-stimulate sometimes, but the meditation definitely takes the edge off.  Makes it easier to handle.”

There was another silence and Jumps studied Judy.  Months ago, the attention would have unnerved the bunny cop—had unnerved her, in fact—but now she had become accustomed to it.

“I realized it was October,” said Judy eventually.  “Ghost’s birthday is in a couple days.  So is Halloween, actually.  I’ve never really celebrated it, but…he enjoyed it.  He’d always dress up somehow that day, and sometimes would coerce me into dressing up with him.”  Judy smiled, remembering the time Nick had convinced her to dress as Watson so that he could go as Sherlock Holmes.

“That’s the second time today you’ve spoken about Officer Wilde,” commented Jumps with a smile.

Judy nodded.  “Yeah.  I don’t know, I just…”  she trailed off, trying to find the words.  “I guess…it’s like I’ve been walking around with a veil over my face, and I’ve suddenly realized that the veil is gone, and has been for days.  I remember what I had for breakfast yesterday.  Flowers don’t make me cry.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“Honestly?”  Judy took a breath, let it out slowly.  “It feels weird.  I’ve been in the dark for so long, and now that I can see again I find myself floundering.  I was taken off the force six months ago.  What have I actually done, since then?  Sat around?”

“You healed.”  Jumps adjusted her position.  “You’re still in shape, since you exercised regularly.  You still know the law.  Do you expect the chief to refuse to give you your badge when you go in?”

Judy shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Maybe?  I mean, do I deserve my job back?”

“Do you think you deserve it?”

Judy finished off her chocolate and considered not answering. 

“I completely shut down when Nick…when it happened.  I ended up in no condition to do my job.  I was emotionally compromised for _seven months_.  That’s excessive.”  Judy flipped her empty cup into the trash.  “I don’t think I’ll ever really recover from that.  But…I think I can handle it.  I think, now, that I can do the job properly.”  _Nobody will ever get to me again,_ thought Judy.  _He taught me that._

“I think you’re right, Judy,” said Jumps.  She was smiling.  “You’ve made a great deal of progress just since we last spoke.  You’ve said more in this session than you have in the last five combined, _and_ you brought food and ate it in front of me.”

Judy nodded, reflecting on it. 

“Yeah.  I think…I think I’ll be okay.”

“Very well, Judy.”  Dr. Jumps straightened in her seat.  “I will let Chief Delgato know that you can be reinstated.  I’d like you to agree to continue seeing me; I think there’s more progress we can make, but you’re doing very well.”

Judy left the session feeling good. 

She never did attend another therapy session, but she was back on the force by the end of the week.

Two weeks later, Ghost came back to town and they met for lunch at one of Judy’s favorite diners.  Judy was there early, and watched Ghost enter from behind a small smile.

“You look good, Jude,” said ghost, hugging the only-slightly-smaller bunny before sitting down.  “How are you?”

“I feel good.  I’ve been accepted back on the force, passed all my evaluations.  They tried to give me another partner, but…Delgato understood why I refused.” 

They were interrupted by the waitress, a white-tailed deer; they both ordered, and when the waitress left again Judy nodded to Ghost’s neck.

“What happened there?”

Ghost touched the bandage, then grinned ruefully.  “I, uh…I got on the wrong end of a wolverine.  I can’t give you details, of course, but it’s not actually bad.  Just a flesh wound.”  Their drinks came, and Judy took a drink.

“Can I ask you a question, Judy?”  Ghost looked somewhat uncomfortable.  Judy nodded.  “I don’t mean to bring up anything bad, but the last time we saw each other….”

“I was drunk, Ghost,” said Judy flatly.  “And my behavior was out of line.”

“He wouldn’t mind, you know,” said Ghost softly.  Judy looked away.  “Judy, you deserve to be happy.”

“You’re great, Ghost.”  Judy looked back at her, her eyes hard.  “You’re gorgeous.  We get along, probably better than we really should.  But you’re away three weeks out of four, and frankly…you are your father’s daughter.  I can’t.”

Ghost nodded, and didn’t look at all surprised.  Then she smiled, and put her paw on Judy’s.  “I understand.  And I’ll be here for you.”  Judy smiled and nodded, but only tolerated the contact for a handful of seconds before withdrawing her paw.

The rest of the lunch was filled with idle inconsequential chat, the two catching up.  To Judy, it felt like she’d missed years of details in her fugue, and she drank in the news she was given. 

When they stood to part, Judy didn’t hug Ghost as she surely would have before Nick’s death.  But she did step close to the grey fox and place a single tender kiss on her cheek at the very corner of her mouth.

“Thank you, Ghost,” she said quietly.  “For not abandoning me.  And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“You had to cope in your own way.  I understand.  Goodbye, Judy.”

In the following months, Judy Hopps became a name associated with hardness and seriousness.  She became well known at the precinct for being inordinately intimidating in interrogation, and brutally effective against aggressive suspects.  When the ZPD wanted someone dealt with, and dealt with _hard_ , they sent Hopps. 

As she gained authority in the police hierarchy, she demonstrated a solid adherence to the rules and an almost fanatical adherence to the idea of “professional distance” with her coworkers.  She absolutely refused to work with a partner, and while she was more than willing to work with other officers on joint assignments she did so with no jokes, with no smiles, and with no attempts at familiarity. As the months turned to years, officers learned to not invite Captain Hopps to drinks or birthday parties or any other socialization; she would only politely refuse anyway.  After all, the only mammal she was ever seen fraternizing with was a pretty grey fox with dual-colored eyes, and then only rarely.

Among criminals, Judy Hopps gained a terrible reputation.  They knew she would never brutalize them, but they also knew if they crossed her they would wish she had.  When criminals heard Judith Hopps’s name, that was often enough in and of itself to get them to confess to whatever crimes they’d committed.

To her credit, they also had utter faith that if they were innocent of crimes of which they’d been accused and she was involved, they’d be found as such.  There were many who were brought in, even hardened criminals, who refused to cooperate unless Judy was brought on the case.

It was eight years after Nick’s death when Judy accepted the position of Police Chief of Precinct One.  When she did, she had Bogo’s podium put back in the bullpen, and she used that podium to conduct her briefings.  She told those who asked why that she did so because it gave her an intimidating stature, but in truth it was because she remembered looking up to Bogo—literally—when she’d first come into this room, and she could think of no better way to honor the buffalo’s lessons to her over the years.

As chief, Judy became known as being every bit as gruff, no-nonsense, and rules-oriented as the legendary Chief Bogo, but also every bit as fair-minded.  She was feared and respected in equal measure, and though she started every morning briefing with yells and deprecations, her officers knew that they could count on her to do right by them.  Some even insisted that she cared, and that if she didn’t shout at you she didn’t care about you.

Someone happened to notice that Judy would never raise her voice on February fourteenth, and each year she spent that day very subdued.  She had been known to even be gentle.  Nobody knew why…and nobody dared ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left, in which we'll see some of the interaction between Judy and Nick's grandson.
> 
> This chapter is a little short, but I felt this was a good place to stop. Sorry about that. No doubt the next chapter will be more than long enough to make up for it.


	7. The Closing Remarks

**14 February, 2040**

**(Twelve years after the death of Detective Nicholas Wilde)**

_“Tragedy struck last night in Savannah Central as an undisclosed terrorist group launched an armed assault against the Zootopia Police Department.  Anticipating the attack, the Zootopia Intelligence Agency, in conjunction with the ZPD, evacuated the neighborhood and erected defenses.  A firefight ensued at approximately six-thirty PM last night; while the terrorists were defeated before any civilians came to harm, it came at a steep price: seven ZIA agents and thirteen ZPD officers fell in the battle, including Precinct One’s first and only fox police officer, Nicholas Wilde._

_“Police Chief Enrique Delgato had this to say about Detective Wilde:_

_“‘Detective Wilde was instrumental in the success of last night’s battle.  His battlefield intelligence and exemplary marksmanship allowed us to salvage what should have been a much more deadly engagement.  We lost twenty mammals, but it’s thanks to Wilde that the number wasn’t far higher.  Every mammal that fought last night should be commended, but Nick Wilde is a hero.’_

_“There will be a memorial service for the fallen officers this evening at the ZPD Precinct One building, and Detective Wilde’s funeral will be held tomorrow evening at seven PM in Emerald View Park.”_

Police Chief Judith Hopps closed the video on her computer and leaned back in her chair, taking a shuddering breath.  She closed her eyes and took even, calming breaths for a few moments.  Then, with her Valentine’s Day ritual completed, she opened the drawer on her desk and removed a large red square of cloth.  She tied it on her left wrist.  It was, strictly speaking, against dress code, but as police chief she was able to get away with it each day.

Then, she gathered the case files for the day and walked out of her office to go to the bullpen for roll call.  She had a knot in the pit of her stomach.  Part of it was because of the day; it had been twelve years since Nick died, but she still had trouble on Valentine’s Day.  Her usual vigor and volume fell away, leaving behind a subdued shadow of her usual gruff self.

Part of her upset, however, was because of the new batch of recruits.  One of the new recruits was a young man named Bradley Nicholas Wilde.  They’d met only once twelve years ago when he was ten years old, but Judy knew he was Nick’s grandson.  She’d heard through the proverbial grapevine that he was in many ways just like his grandfather, and Judy was not looking forward to the meeting.

Sure enough, the silence she had grown to expect in the bullpen following her announcement was missing this morning, replaced with the sound of a fox muttering jokes to someone near him.  Judy ignored it as she entered the room and climbed to the top of her buffalo-sized podium.

Normally at this point she’d say in an over-loud voice something like _we have a new batch of idiots today; since I don’t celebrate the ignorance of children, I refuse to introduce them._   But since it was the fourteenth of February, she did not.

“We have a new recruit,” she said instead, speaking softly.  Everyone in the room who wasn’t new flinched a little; she knew they had come to take her vitriol as a sign she cared and was in good spirits.  Since she was quiet, it was a bad day.  “Normally I wouldn’t give that any more attention than that, but he happens to be the second ever red fox assigned to my precinct.  Welcome to Precinct One, Officer Bradley Wilde.  Now shut your goddamn mouth and laugh on your own dime.”  She cleared her throat, then lifted up the first case file, quite large compared to her, preparing to call on Leaps, Madison, and Boarly to take what was a fairly simple robbery.

Instead, the fox spoke.

“What’s got a burr in your tail, Carrots?”  Bradley punctuated the snark with a cocky grin to the officer next to him, who stared at him like he’d just shot someone.  Judy felt like she’d been punched in the gut:  his voice was so very similar to his grandfather’s, and the nickname…the last time she’d been called that was moments before Nick was shot in the head.

Judy had become very skilled at the poker face.  It came in handy now as she stood frozen upon the podium for a long moment, and then slowly lowered the file in her paw to allow her to take her first look at the fox.  Her expression didn’t waver even though her heart clenched in her chest. 

Bradley could have been a young Nick.  He certainly showed Ghost’s genes in the slender frame and shorter stature, but his fur was Nick’s, his lanky arms reminiscent of her fallen partner, and Judy would never forget that particular shade of green in his eyes.

“You’re gonna want to refrain from calling me Carrots,” said Judy in a flat tone, carefully modulating her tone to reveal no emotion at all. 

Someone in the back of the room whispered, “oh god, he’s so screwed.”  Judy ignored the whisperer as Bradley spoke again, still grinning arrogantly.

“My bad, Chief.  I just assumed you came from some carrot-swamped Podunk.”

Something in Judy fractured at the paraphrased introduction from so long ago.  Surely Bradley had no idea he was echoing his grandfather, but Judy was keenly aware, and she felt her breath hitch and her eyes start to water as her scarred ears swept back to lay flat against the back of her head.

“Let me make this very clear to you, Bradley Wilde.”  Her voice was cold and deadly, just the barest hint of emotional waver.  “Your grandfather may have been _the Nicholas Piberius Wilde_ , hero of the battle of Savannah Central, but in _my_ precinct, you are exactly nothing.  Less than a nursing kitten.”  She leaned forward over the edge of the podium to look him in the eye, catching her paws on the edge to prevent herself from falling, and as she spoke again her voice broke in anger and long-buried grief.

“You need to understand:  the only other person who has ever called me Carrots is dead now.  Don’t make me send you to him.”  Every other officer in the room looked frightened, and Bradley seemed finally to get the hint.  His arrogance melted away, replaced by backward-swept ears and an expression of contrite fear.

The room was silent for a full minute as Judy and Bradley stared at one another.

Finally, Judy stood back up and lifted her first case file.  “Leaps, Madison, and Boarly, robbery this morning.  Witnesses are already waiting.  Fangmeyer and Nunley, your assault case from yesterday has a break, suspect was spotted.  Kirkland, Woolsey, and Freeman, Detective Skippel requested some paws on the ground for her homicide case, see her for details. Officer Wilde, parking duty.  Dismissed.” 

She turned and hopped off the podium, preparing to follow the last of the experienced officers out, but Bradley came up behind her.

“Chief Hopps, hold on.”  He sounded indignant.  How cute.  She ignored him and kept walking, but he reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

Judy whirled around and backhanded Officer Wilde.  The moment her paw connected with his face she regretted it; it was a reflex borne of emotion, and could count as assault if he chose to press charges.

“Touch me again, Officer, and I’ll have you in a cell for assault,” said Judy softly, her voice quivering not with fury but with unshed tears.  Bradley looked back at her in shock, his paw on his face where she slapped him.

She didn’t wait for him to reply, simply turning on her heel and marching away, making her way to her office on the second floor.  She slammed the door behind her and threw herself on her chair and sat with her face in her paws gasping for air, trying desperately to not cry.  She was so angry at him for the disrespect, and the similarities between him and his grandfather had hit her far harder than she expected; she was realizing that even after this much time she might not quite be over Nick’s death.

She had just gotten her emotions under control when there was a knock at her door.  She sighed, certain it was Bradley.

“Who is it?” asked Judy calmly.

“Officer Wilde,” said Bradley.  “I need to speak to you, Chief.”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Sometimes she hated being right.

“Come.”

He entered, closed the door, and approached her desk, taking a seat in one of the provided chairs.  They stared at one another in silence for a long moment.

Finally, Judy spoke, her voice low.  “I shouldn’t have struck you,” admitted Judy.  “It was uncalled-for, and I apologize.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” said Bradley, quietly.  “You assigned me to parking duty, Chief.  I was in the top ten percent of my class, ma’am, I know what I’m doing.  I can be used somewhere else, somewhere important.”

Judy shook her head.  “You sound like I did my first day.  I assure you, Officer Wilde, you are not as ready as you think.”

“You don’t know that, chief.”  He leaned forward, preparing to argue his point, but he stopped when Judy groaned in irritation.

“You don’t know me, son, so let me explain something to you once.”  Judy looked him in the eye, speaking calmly.  “On any normal day, I’d have shouted a lot at you and by now you’d either be doing your parking duty or going home without a badge.  Today however happens to be an off-day for me and so I’m going to tell you something I usually wouldn’t.

“Every single new recruit who comes through this precinct does parking duty for at least the first month.  There’s a very specific purpose to it, and if you can’t cut it you won’t have a place in my precinct.  Do you understand?”

Bradley stared back at her in silence for a time.  Then, he took a slow breath.  “I got it,” he said.  “It’s a test.  One that I’ll pass.”  He stood and began walking to the door.

“One hundred tickets,” said Judy to his back.  “By the end of the day.”  Bradley hesitated at the door for just a moment, and then was gone.

Judy kept thinking back to their interaction throughout the day.  She couldn’t help it:  he was so very similar to his grandfather that it had affected her already compromised emotional walls.  She couldn’t help but to think about the familiar cadence of his voice and the emerald shine of his eyes.  So deep was her distraction that she got very little work done.  She even forgot about lunch, and had to be reminded to eat by the receptionist.

The day shift had been officially over for half an hour and Judy was still working her way through some reports when she heard a knock at her door.

“Come,” she said absently, looking through the report before her.  The knocker, a smaller mammal, opened the door, closed it, and came up to the desk.  She didn’t look up and the visitor didn’t speak, but then the wave of scent hit her like a brick, a distinctly vulpine musk, and distinctly male.  Judy closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her twitching nose before looking up to see Bradley staring across the desk at her with a rueful look.

“Sorry, Chief,” muttered Bradley.  “I do use Musk Mask, but fox musk can be strong enough to—”  Judy cut him off with a raised paw.

“I know, Officer Wilde,” said Judy.  She didn’t smile…but she didn’t frown either.  “I’ve met foxes before.  What did you need?”

He hesitated.  “I spoke to Captain Wolford about you.”  He sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk.  “He…cautioned me to not discuss this with you, but, well.”

“Spit it out, Officer,” sighed Judy.  Bradley nodded.

“I asked about your history, chief,” said Bradley.  “I was told that you…partnered with my grandfather.  Is that true?”

Judy’s heart broke; Bradley sounded so hopeful and so lost at the same time.  She clasped her paws on the desk before her and sighed.

“Yes,” she said lowly.  “Nick Wilde was my partner.”

“For how long?”

“Officer Wilde,” said Judy gently, “this is something I haven’t spoken about in more than a decade, and there’s a very specific reason for that.”

“Is that why you hate me, Chief?  Because I’m his grandson?”  The fox’s tone could almost be mistaken as accusatory.  “Wolford told me you were his partner when he first entered the force, and he said working with him changed you.  I shouldn’t expect anything else from a bunny from Bunnyburrow, but you’re the one who stopped the Night Howler Crisis so many years ago.  You’d think that would teach you something about fairness and prejudice.  Apparently not; working with a fox was so traumatic to you that it changed your entire personality, and now seeing another fox in your precinct is enough to change your behavior yet again?  Yeah, I heard how you’re usually so loud and insulting, but now that the big bad fox is here you’re pathetically quiet. 

“You can’t even look at me without flinching.  I can see it every time you lay eyes on me.  It’s like you’re staring at death itself.  Maybe others wouldn’t notice, but I do.

“Well, let me tell you something, _Chief_ _Carrots_ , my grandfather was a great fox.  He was an amazing father, a terrific grandfather, an exemplary police officer, and he died a _hero_.  I don’t care what you say about him or what you think of me, Chief.  I’ll prove to you that foxes are good mammals.  I’ll prove to you that I’m worthy of this badge, whether you like it or not.”

Judy could have interrupted him at any time.  She could have shouted, or screamed, or even struck him again.  She could have kicked him out, took his badge, ran away.

Instead…she closed her eyes and cried.  Silently, she cried, hot tears flowing freely down her face, and she made no effort to hide it.  In the silent wake of Bradley’s devastating tirade, Judy simply let go of the emotions she’d fought with for so long.

_Never let them see that they get to you._   His advice from so long ago rang in her ears, and she’d followed it for so long…but Nick had always gotten to her, and she’d never been able to hide it from him.  And now he’d returned to her, a ghost behind angry eyes, mocking her for the mistake of isolating herself for so long.

She heard the distinct change in Bradley’s breathing, indicating he’d realized she was crying.  The silence stretched on as he presumably fought to understand what was happening.

_Oh, you bunnies.  So emotional._   Another reminder in a long-lost voice, mocking her for her mistakes.

“I…” started Bradley, uncertainty coloring his voice.

“Ten years,” said Judy in a wet, shaking voice.  She opened her eyes and looked sadly at the fox before her, so similar to the one she’d lost.  “I knew Nick for eleven years, and we were partners for ten.  He did change me, Bradley.  He proved to me that I was stupid and ignorant and bigoted, and he helped me to overcome those failings. God, I was so proud of him when he graduated the Academy.  I was so happy to have him with me on the beat, and we got so close.”  Bradley was utterly silent, staring at her as if she were a revelation.

“Nick was the very best friend I ever had.”  Judy’s voice was soft, still shaking.  “And I loved him so much, for so long.  You think I hate you?  No, Bradley.  You’re so much like your grandfather…I don’t hate you.  I was afraid of you.  Afraid that you might undo twelve years of repressed grief.  Afraid that you might make me…feel…again.”

A series of complicated emotions flickered across Bradley’s face, settling finally on confused awe.

“I don’t understand,” he said quietly.

“I loved him,” repeated Judy.  “More than anyone else I ever met, before or since.  And the day I confessed my love to him, and learned he loved me as deeply…the day our life as lovers should have began…he was taken from me.

“In another life, Bradley, you’d be calling me ‘grandma’ instead of Chief.  That life died in the aftermath of the Battle of Savannah Central.”

“I’m sorry,” muttered Bradley; it was a sad, understanding statement.  “I didn’t know.  I’m such an asshole.”

“You’re a Wilde,” retorted Judy.  Her tears were stopping and she smiled wetly.  “That’s a given.”  He smiled back, uncertainly, and they lapsed into silence which stretched for a couple minutes.

“Do you think we might change?” asked Bradley finally.  “Maybe…one day…you could be part of our family again.  I wouldn’t mind calling you grandma.”

Judy stood and walked around the desk, then took his paws in hers.  “No,” she said, shaking her head.  “That life died with Nick.  But you _can_ call me Judy.  When we’re off-duty.”  She pulled him into a tight hug, one that he returned after only a second’s hesitation.  It felt…nice, after so long of enforced distance.  Strange, but good.

After a long moment, she pulled away from him and returned to her seat.

“Leave the past in the past, Officer Wilde,” said Judy, businesslike, picking up a pen and bending over her reports.  The moment was over.  “Understood?”

Bradley nodded.

“Good.  Dismissed.”

“Thank you, Chief.”  He stood to leave. 

When he got to the door, Judy cleared her throat.  “Bradley.”  He looked back.  “Have breakfast with me on Saturday?” Bradley smiled, and nodded.

Judy smiled, too.  It felt…good.

“Good,” she said, letting her face slip back to its usual scowl.  “Get out of my office.”

After he left, she set the pen aside and tried on a smile again.  It didn’t quite fit anymore, but it felt nice to try.  Perhaps with Bradley’s help, she could make it fit again.

It was satisfying, having a friend again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a wild ride. So this is officially the last chapter of Steel Runs Through Her; it was an emotional one, but I think it ended on a pretty optimistic note, don't you? I'd like to give some recognition to reader MinscLovesBoo, who suggested some ideas for the dialogue at the end of the chapter.


End file.
